Saturday, September 29, 2012

Walk, Just Walk

Just walk, that's all I've got to do. No planning, no meetings, no emails to send or calls to answer, no bedroom to tidy, no dishes to do--nothing to do but walk. I'm unable to imagine that no matter how hard I try, and trust me I have tried.

Today, I had things to do and things I wanted to do. I did the things that needed to be done and made time for a few things I've wanted to do. Do I want to walk, do I want to do nothing but walk? Yes, I want to know the experience of just being and walking. As I walk I will take time to reevaluate my purpose, my heart's desire, and reconfirm my commitment to follow my True North.

I'm reminded of the first morning in the home of my host family in India without anything that I had to do. It was as if I stepped off of a moving sidewalk and into quick-dry concrete. I stepped off the human-doingness of my society, yet the gravity of the constant motion I'd been accustomed was still compelling me to do, do, do. My equilibrium was uncomfortably askew and the only way I knew to regain my balance was to start doing as soon as possible. I unpacked some of my things, showered and purposely swung the door open to my private room. The cook and housekeeper, Busanti, was on the other side as if she had been waiting for me to emerge. She must have had strict instructions from my hosts to fulfill me every whim. “Chai?” she asked. Yes, I replied. Before I could tell her to point me to the kitchen to help myself, she was gone. I went to my bags and retrieved the notes I'd made on what I wanted to see and do while in India. That's the first time I missed the opportunity to just be. I would be lying if I said I escaped the culturally-ingrained impulse to constantly be doing shortly after that.

This journey will serve as another opportunity to just be, and I'll spend some cherished hours walking from one yellow way-marker to the next, taking inventory of what hurts and offenses I still carry deep within. I'll examine those persistent thoughts that have become stubborn beliefs, deconstruct and shake them lose from the synapse they're adhered to. And in other times I'll simply enjoy the ride my feet take me on.